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Cringeworthy Jokes

Here, culled from the Internet, are some very cringeworthy one-liners

 

I dusted once.  It came back.  I’m not falling for that again.

If you suck at playing the trumpet, that’s why.

Thief steals calendar.  Gets twelve months.

I’ve started investing in stocks:  beef, chicken, and vegetable.  One day I hope to be a bouillioinaire.

You never appreciate what you’ve got till it’s gone.  Toilet paper is a good example.

The problem with political jokes is that they sometimes get elected.

I used to think I was indecisive.  Not I’m not so sure.

I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to push all your buttons.  I was just looking for mute.

If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple ‘thank you’ is all I need, not all of this ‘how did you get in my house?’ business.

Every sock you lose in the dryer comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn’t fit any containers.

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